Proverbs 26 is so full of wisdom for daily life I could write a separate blog on almost every verse. Take verse two for example.

Like a sparrow in its flitting, like a swallow in its flying, so a curse without cause does not alight.

What a great bit of wisdom to teach our children. There will be times in our lives when people say things about us that are not true. These words will come from their own hearts of anger, hurt, disappointment, failure, envy, jealousy, and pride. If we do not have a settled confidence and knowing of who we are in Christ, these words can and will wound us.

However, if we have been given a solid foundation of being loved by God, and are striving to live in obedience to Him, hurtful words will simply be a “curse without cause.” We can recognize it for what it is and move past it. We need to teach our children to examine criticism or hurtful words with humility, acknowledge and confess if we’ve been wrong, and move on when we recognize it is not “on us.” How much better our “mental health” would be if we took this wisdom to heart!

Here is another bit of wisdom that at first read, seems to contradict itself, but when we examine it closely and meditate on it, can help us deal with one another in wisdom.

Proverbs 26:4-5 – Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him. Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes.

Do we answer a fool? Or not?

Yes, but carefully!

In verse four, we are warned not to answer “according to his folly” lest we are “like him.” This indicates the method and motivation of our answer. We cannot speak foolishly. When we need to address foolishness, we must do it differently, with a different heart.

A fool says foolish things…but a wise person answers with more fitting words, knowing they may or may not be received.

Proverbs 12:23 – A prudent man conceals knowledge, but the heart of fools proclaims folly.

Proverbs 25:11-12 – Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances. Like an earring of gold and an ornament of fine gold is a wise reprover to a listening ear.

A fool speaks in anger…but a wise person is not hasty in his answer, controlling his emotions.

Proverbs 14:17 – A quick-tempered man acts foolishly, and a man of evil devices is hated.

Proverbs 14:29 – He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is quick-tempered exalts folly.

A fool speaks his opinion before he gets all the facts…but a wise person answers only after careful consideration.

Proverbs 18:13 – He who gives an answer before he hears, it is folly and shame to him.

Proverbs 25:8 – Do not go out hastily to argue your case; otherwise, what will you do in the end, when your neighbor humiliates you?

A fool gets involved in issues that are not his concern…but a wise person knows there are times when no response is necessary.

Proverbs 26:17 – Like one who takes a dog by the ears is he who passes by and meddles with strife not belonging to him.

Proverbs 17:14 – The beginning of strife is like letting out water, so abandon the quarrel before it breaks out.

Proverbs 14:7 – Leave the presence of a fool, or you will not discern words of knowledge.

All this wisdom tells me we need to stop and think before we speak. There are times when we should address foolishness, refute deception, and insert a bit of wisdom from God’s Word into a conversation. We can’t always be silent. Especially in today’s culture where wrong is promoted so freely as right, the world needs a voice of truth.

However, our hearts must be submitted to the Lord. Our motivation must be right. We can’t attack folly with foolishness. We should never speak out of anger. We need to have all our facts straight before speaking. Our motivation should be to bring truth to someone’s heart and turn them away from the folly that can only lead to destruction and heartache.

I love the way Paul illustrates the wisdom found in Proverbs, as he instructs his young friend, Timothy on how to address the foolishness of this world.

2 Timothy 2:24-26 – And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.

There will always be people in our lives who frustrate us with their foolishness and folly. We can become fools ourselves if we answer in our flesh. We must ask God to help us answer them, but with gentleness and respect.

One other observation. Proverbs tells us that foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child and the rod of discipline will remove it far from him (22:15). The foolish actions and words of a child can certainly frustrate a parent, but the same wisdom applies. A “rod of discipline” does not mean to “beat it out of him” but to teach and instruct. Perhaps a little corporal punishment is not out of line, but never in anger, never without stopping to get our emotions under control and get all the facts before responding. Stopping to think before responding will keep us from saying foolish things in frustration and anger that wound a child’s heart.

How grateful I am that God’s Word teaches us how to help one another grow in knowledge and wisdom. His heart is for us, and He has designed this life to be blessed and filled with joy, but it only works as we walk in His wisdom.