My husband likes to ask, “How do you know you’re in love?” I think this became one of his favorite questions during the years he did a lot of premarital counseling, but he’ll bring it up in almost any conversation. After hearing all kinds of answers, he says, “You know you are in love when you give.”

John 3:16 – For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

Galatians 2:20 – I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.

Ephesians 5:1-2 – Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.

Ephesians 5:25 – Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.

We are recipients of a supernatural, divine love—the love of our Creator. God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). This love is beyond comprehension, yet we should still seek to understand it. Because we are rooted and grounded in the love of God, Paul prays that we “may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge” (Ephesians 3:18-19a).

Romans 8 describes the depth of God’s love for us—a love so strong and sure that nothing can ever separate us from it. These verses are ones we ought to read every day!

Romans 8:35-39 – Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? Just as it is written, “For Your sake we are being put to death all day long; we were considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

God’s love is the perfect love to contemplate on Valentine’s Day as we express our love to others. But have we thought about telling God, “I love you”? How can we demonstrate OUR love for Him in return for all the love He’s poured out on us (Romans 5:5)?

We give.

Romans 12:1-2 – Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

The best thing we can give God to show our love is ourselves—surrendering daily as a living and holy sacrifice so that we will no longer be conformed but transformed. The evidence of our love—the “tell” of whether we have truly given ourselves to Him—is to ask, “Am I being conformed to this world, or am I being transformed into His image?”

Romans 12 is the practical application of the theology Paul has explained in chapters 1-11. We should not approach it as a “to-do” list; spiritual transformation is the result of abiding in Christ and allowing the Holy Spirit to do His work. It is not something we achieve in our own strength. However, there are some very good measures by which we can examine the attitudes of our hearts—a plumb line that reveals how much of our hearts we have really given over to the Holy Spirit.

Consider these comparisons between a person conformed to the world and a person transformed by the Spirit, all from Romans 12.

• We are conformed when we think more highly of ourselves than we ought, but we are transformed when we think with sound judgment, recognizing that all we have is a gift from God.

• We are conformed when we act as individuals, but we are transformed when we see ourselves as part of the body of Christ.

• We are conformed when we love with conditions, expecting a return, but we are transformed when we love sincerely.

• We are conformed when we love evil and are overcome by it, but we are transformed when we abhor evil and cling to what is good.

• We are conformed when we think of ourselves first, but we are transformed when we give preference to and honor others.

• We are conformed when we lag behind in diligence, but we are transformed when we are fervent in spirit as we serve the Lord.

• We are conformed when we lose hope or give up during difficulties, but we are transformed when we rejoice in hope and persevere in tribulation.

• We are conformed when we rarely pray, but we are transformed when we are devoted to prayer.

• We are conformed when we think only of our own needs, but we are transformed when we meet the needs of others, practicing hospitality.

• We are conformed when we curse those who persecute us and seek revenge, but we are transformed when we bless those who curse us and leave vengeance in God’s hands.

• We are conformed when our lives are filled with strife and disagreements, but we are transformed when we can be at peace with all men, so far as it depends on us.

Today is a good day to tell the Lord we love Him. But as scripture says, “Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth” (1 John 3:18).

May we demonstrate our love this Valentine’s Day… and give.