Proverbs 5-7 focus in-depth on a particular topic that God feels very deeply about, but secular culture has completely discarded any taboos or hesitation to engage in it: immorality. Sadly, the acceptance of adultery, fornication, immorality, and divorce is often accepted within the church, or at least among those who proclaim to believe.

Survey any congregation and you won’t have to look far to find couples living together without being married, or singles engaging in sexual relationships with no apparent shame or guilt. I believe this grieves God’s heart deeply, as He created marriage as one of the most visible illustrations of His relationship with His own people. This was first revealed in the covenants between God the Father and the nation of Israel and was fulfilled in the relationship between Christ and His church (Ephesians 5:25-33).

Jeremiah 31:31-33 – “Behold, days are coming,” declares the Lord, “when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah, not like the covenant which I made with their fathers in the day I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt, My covenant which they broke, although I was a husband to them,” declares the Lord. “But this is the covenant which I will make with the house of Israel after those days,” declares the Lord, “I will put My law within them and on their heart I will write it; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people.”

Adulteress or adultery is mentioned eleven times in Proverbs out of a total of forty times in the Old Testament; those words are used twenty-nine in the New Testament. We find the words immoral or immorality only four times in the Old Testament, but thirty times in the New.

This follows with Jesus’ words in Matthew 5, where He teaches His disciples that sin is not simply a matter of breaking God’s law with our bodies, but is a matter of our hearts.

Matthew 5:27-28 – You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

What do we learn about adultery in today’s reading of Proverbs 5?

First of all, why does Proverbs only use the word “adulteress” (a female adulterer)? I don’t believe these warnings are written only to “wanton women” who are after someone else’s husband while ignoring or excusing the same behavior in men. We’ve already been introduced to “wisdom” personified as a woman (she lifts her voice; she utters her sayings). When the writer uses adulteress, he is simply personifying the behavior, much like we would call a ship or a car “her,” fully realizing that neither is gender specific.

We can conclude, however, that Solomon is writing from personal experience. As king, the man had 300 wives and 700 concubines. He’s not being hypocritical in warning the reader away from his own choices but telling us to learn from his experience.

Men are just as accountable as women. Jumping over into chapter six, the man is addressed specifically: The one who commits adultery with a woman is lacking sense; he who would destroy himself does it (6:32). These words are inspired by the Holy Spirit, and deserve our full attention, whether we are a man or a woman.

Proverbs 5 contains words of wisdom from a father to a son. He outlines the dangers of listening to or even going near to an adulteress. This could include participating in prostitution, which was just as common then as it is today, or any relationship outside of marriage. The father makes sure to emphasize that sex in itself is not wrong, but that physical relationships have boundaries and that this is reserved for marriage according to God’s plan and purposes. Anything outside of marriage is a sin; it will ruin your life here and you will give account for it to God.

Let’s let scripture speak for itself.

Proverbs 5:8-11 – Keep your way far from her and do not go near the door of her house, or you will give your vigor to others and your years to the cruel one; and strangers will be filled with your strength and your hard-earned goods will go to the house of an alien; and you groan at your final end, when your flesh and your body are consumed.

 Proverbs 5:15-23 – Drink water from your own cistern and fresh water from your own well. Should your springs be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be yours alone and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth. As a loving hind and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; be exhilarated always with her love. For why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an adulteress and embrace the bosom of a foreigner? For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord, and He watches all his paths. His own iniquities will capture the wicked, and he will be held with the cords of his sin. He will die for lack of instruction, and in the greatness of his folly he will go astray.

How serious is sex outside of marriage? Consider this.

Ephesians 5:3-5 – But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints; and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.

Is there any hope for those who have been immoral, whether in thought or deed? I’m so grateful there is, or heaven would be empty. Jesus says to all who will repent, “The one who comes to Me I will certainly not cast out” (John 6:37). And aren’t we grateful for the example of David, an adulterer and a murderer, who cast himself upon God’s grace?

Psalm 51:6-7,10,17 – Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being, and in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom. Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. … Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. … The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.

Are you an adulterer, in heart or deed? Take the path of wisdom and cast yourself on the lovingkindness of your faithful Father. Jesus has already paid for your sin, but you must ask for the powerful cleansing blood to be applied to your account. He will restore what the enemy has stolen, and you shall stand before Him at the end, blameless and white as snow.